Frequently Asked Questions

In my experience, the process can take from six weeks to three years upon the willingness of the parties to sit down and negotiate issues relating to parenting, property and debt distribution, support, and payment of divorce-related expenses.  If the parties are unwilling or unable to do so, a judge will decide whatever issues they cannot agree upon. 

The cost of the process depends in large part upon whether parties can cooperate with each other and reach agreements in the best interests of their children, fairly split property and debt, and come to terms on the issues of support (alimony and child support.) 

Both Massachusetts and Florida are "no fault" states. If one party says the marriage is irretrievably broken because of irreconcilable differences, the court can grant a divorce. 

Parties at mediation need to be comfortable in disclosing their needs and potential resolutions.  Sometimes this is accomplished by a joint session.  Other times it is best that the parties are separated with a sort of shuttle diplomacy by the mediator.   

Parties seeking to mediate their case, must have a knowledge of their finances, including assets and liabilities, income, and expenses.  If children are involved, some consideration of the best time sharing plan and consideration of any special needs is important for pre-mediation planning. 

Make sure you have a working knowledge of the family assets and liabilities, the income and expenses, and a safe place for valuables and items of sentimentality. If you need a new vehicle, or the house needs work or replacement of appliances, take care of this before entering into the divorce process. 

It is a very rare occasion where a judge wants to speak to minor children. In 24 years of practice, this has only occurred twice in hundreds of cases I've handled.  Parents are expected to be able to come to terms with what is in the best interest of their children without having to take sides, or become involved in an adult matter. If there are issues of addiction or abuse, often the court will appoint a guardian ad litem to investigate what is in the children's best interest. 

A good parenting agreement will spell out details about the children's upbringing and schooling. It will include specifics about a time sharing schedule and payment of the children's expenses so that parties do not have the occasion to have regular contact with each other. There are special applications developed by experts which track parents' communications, where all writings are preserved in the event that there is any inappropriate contact.   

If parties reach a written agreement, commonly known as a marital settlement agreement, a court appearance is required only to assure the court that it is your voluntary agreement, and that you intend to abide by it.  At least one party has to inform the court that their marriage suffered irreconcilable differences leading to an irretrievable breakdown.  

Tom Brady and his wife and their accountants met with lawyers, hashed out a parenting plan in the best interest of their children, and divided assets and liabilities out of the public eye. Everyone involved was subject to a non-disclosure agreement, so that nothing leaked about their private circumstances.

Once the agreement was reached, it was a matter of a five-minute appearance in front of a judge to state that the parties agreed that their marriage was over, and they had made an agreement for their children, property and support. This is a benefit of private mediation. It requires putting aside hurt feelings and what may feel like a storm of emotions to get through the business of peacefully ending a marriage.

Often, therapeutic assistance is necessary for the parties and children to accomplish this, and I have identified seasoned professionals available to become part of the team to get a family transitioned with the least amount of drama and pain. 

Most courts now have electronic filing, which makes it easy for the public to access contents of divorce files.  Seasoned family lawyers, who recognize the importance of maintaining family relationships even after divorce,  are careful about what they put in pleadings, knowing that children and others can read the file.  Lawyers draft pleadings; however clients have the final say about what is put in the public record. 

Relocation cases are the most difficult ones because a court is asked to determine a new timesharing schedule that might involve hours of driving or even a plane trip for children to visit with their parent.  A good relocation plan involves consideration of whether the children would have the benefit of family, friends, educational opportunities and extracurricular activities in their new location. It also involves ways to promote contact and timesharing with a parent living at a distance. 

These cases are best resolved at mediation, where the family is able to develop a plan that works for them. Judges, because they are often rushed and overwhelmed with cases, tend to take a cookie cutter approach that doesn't take into account the unique needs of families.  

A prenuptial agreement sets the property and support rights of the parties in the event of a divorce. For it to be valid and enforceable, both parties must have complete financial disclosure from the other, and an opportunity to review the finances and the agreement before the wedding.

There is no bright line rule as to how long before the wedding in the agreement must be signed. If I want an agreement to be enforced, I meet with my client 4-6 months before the wedding and supervise the signing 4-6 weeks before the marriage.  

Sometimes people come to see me a few weeks before they get married, wanting to enter into a prenup. At that point, there's no time for the appropriate financial disclosure and review of a document. In that case, I advise them to come see me after the wedding to do what is known as a post-nuptial agreement. 

It has the same impact as a prenup, distribution of property and support, but it is done after a legal marriage.  

Alimony is gender-blind. Both men and women are entitled to consideration of alimony, which is spousal support at the time of a divorce. Factors important to this determination are the length of the marriage, the health of the parties, work history, employability, and whether either party took time out from their career to raise children.